Barely Legal

I saw a late-teenager (probably around 17 or 18, I reckon) get asked for proof of age when buying a 12 rated DVD last week. The kid was indignant and angry, but ultimately caved and showed some ID.

Whilst travelling the States in 2002, I saw a 55 year-old woman get refused alcohol in a San Francisco comedy club because she didn't have ID with her.

On a similar tack, I got asked for ID buying a bottle of wine a couple of years ago. 33 years old I was at the time (as I indignantly told the woman behind the counter; "I'm the same age as JESUS!") and it was the first time I'd been asked my age buying alcohol since I was 17.

All of these examples are utterly fucking stupid, and I worry that they're indicative of a growing culture where using your judgement is seen as a dangerous and unneccessary risk. If you seriously aren't comfortable enough with your judgement that a grey-haired, not-particularly-well-preserved woman can be served alcohol, I'm really not comfortable with you doing ANY job whatsoever. It comes down to the old argument that by operating like a machine and insisting on ID for everyone, you are potentially stopping a single 17 year old getting served. And that's got to be a good thing, right?

Bollocks. Here's my two pennies; cash 'em in for the currency of your choice. Drumroll..

An age restriction system works better when it leaks. When it is flawed. When 17 year-olds occasionally get served beer in pubs and get into 18 movies. Because if you're a 17 year old in an environment that you're not meant to be in, there's at least a chance that you'll shut up and keep a low profile. That you'll hang back and see how things are done. If you know that if a particular bartender notices you you'll get thrown out, you'll avoid drawing too much attention to yourself. You'll blend. You might even take it relatively easy on the booze intake. Your introduction to the adult world is gradual and subdued, since you know you don't really belong there yet.

If, on the other hand, every age restriction works 100%, by the time a kid hits his 18th birthday he's got a massive sense of entitlement backed up by absolutely no experience whatsoever of the environment that he's entering. He walks in, flashes his newly minted ID, never learns any sort of bar etiquette, gets shitfaced and falls over or starts a fight. He knows that he won't be ejected until he's done something actively bad, and never learns the ropes because he doesn't need to.

Movies work the same way. I fondly remember my first underage 15 at the cinema (Good Morning Vietnam) and my first underage 18 at the cinema (Misery). I sat in the darkness, terrified that the usher would suddenly click and think 'Hey, that kid looked a bit young', hunt me down in the darkness and throw me out. So I sat through the movies in silence, and.. Guess what? The habit stuck. I went from being a kid who yabbered in movies to being an adult who knew to shut the fuck up as soon as the certificate hit the screen. If I'd been robbed of that experience, if the first time I'd sat in an age-restricted movie I'd have been brimming with a sense of my entitlement to be there, maybe that process of growth would never have happened or been severely delayed.

Every time a supermarket increases the age at which you 'might' be ID'd, for the good of us all, it breaks my heart a bit. The woman who ID'd me for the wine was essentially arguing that maybe, just maybe, I might possibly be 25 and just have aged horribly badly. Her sign told her that if customers looked under 25 they must show ID to prove they were 18. Therefore a 33 year old has to prove that they're not 17. Or a 55 year old has to spend her comedy night without a glass of wine. Madness. Not only that, but by boosting the ages of 'forbidden fruit' to 21 (as most States in the US have) they are introducing another element into the mix in the shape of cars. In the States, a kid might have been driving for 5 years by the time they get served in a bar. By that time they're reliant on cars and unfamiliar with their alcohol limits; another recipe for disaster, especially in a country like the US where it's hard enough to be a pedestrian in the first place.

I vote for a return to people using their judgement, and if the odd kid gets through a few months underage it might actually end up improving things in the long run.

Basically I just want teenagers to shut up in cinemas, and I'm willing to try anything.

My name's Pat Higgins and my conscience is clear.

Post-Christmas Avatar Blues

Well, it was a nice Christmas and New Year. Highlights included Rage Against The Machine getting to the Christmas Number One (which was mainly fun because it demonstrated the very public breaking of a pre-determined narrative, and proved that we actually still have a say in popular culture) and the 3D overload that was Avatar.. I walked out of it feeling like I'd just seen something incredible, but the next day couldn't quite shake the feeling that if I'd seen it in 2D on a small screen I'd have been mocking it quite a lot. If you haven't seen it yet, *please* check it out on the big screen in 3D, if only so when you inevitably see it in a smaller, flatter, rather more flaccid form in the years to come you can feel a little bit embarrassed about just how much you liked it.

The Devil's Music also finally came out on DVD, of course, which was great. From the feedback I've received so far, folks seem to be really digging the disc.

We've also been looking around for a decent screening venue for the cast and crew screening of Bordello Death Tales, prior to letting critics look at the sucker. I always feel that cast and crew should see a movie first.. The idea of a critic seeing a flick before one of the cast does just feels wrong somehow, but this screening has been a long time coming. Hopefully not much longer. The problem seems to be that all the venues are either too big or too small; there are a lot of screening rooms with 35-odd seats, there are a lot of cinemas with 300-odd, but there aren't all that many with around 80.

And, of course, the writing continues. In an ideal world, we'd do another back-to-back shoot in the summer of 2011 the same way that we did in the summer of 2006, but I sadly can't see the money coming together so I'll have to flip a coin..

2009 - What I've seen this year

OK, so I'm going to see Avatar 3D tonight, so I'll be editing this post to add that onto the end. Largely because the idea of finishing my list of movies seen this year with 'The Christmas Clause' really doesn't bear thinking about.

Here it is: The complete and unedited list of stuff I've seen this year, together with a reductive and pointless mark out of five. I've avoiding listing my own stuff, since that's a pretty pointless exercise and I've probably seen each 'going concern' movie countless times in various states of editing. I've also refrained from marking movies where I know people concerned reasonably well, because conflict of interest and yada yada yada.

But basically, here it is. It's going to be long.

Have a brilliant New Year.

January 10th
Friday the 13th Part III - **/5
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane - ***/5
Bring It On: In It to Win It - **/5

January 11th
Alien Abduction: The McPherson Tape - ***/5
Lake Placid 2 - **/5

January 17th
Slumdog Millionaire - ****/5
Shrooms - */5

January 18th
Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud - ***/5

January 19th
Breakfast at Tiffany's - ****/5

January 21st
My Bloody Valentine (3D version, 2009) - ***/5

January 23rd
Twelve Monkeys (3rd viewing) - *****/5

January 24th
Milk - ****/5
Frost/Nixon - ****/5

January 27th
The Reader - ***/5

January 29th
Blade Runner (The Final Cut) - *****/5

February 1st
The Wrestler - *****/5
Wanted - ***/5

February 3rd
Creatures from the Abyss - **/5

February 6th
The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers - **/5

February 11th
Revolutionary Road - **/5

February 13th
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (3rd-ish viewing) - *****/5
Tokyo Gore Police - ****/5

February 14th
Tropic Thunder - ***/5

February 15th
Happy-Go-Lucky - ****/5

February 16th
Rachel Getting Married - ***/5

February 18th
Doubt - ***/5
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - ****/5

February 19th
Zombie Strippers! - **/5
Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (4th-ish viewing) - ***/5

February 20th
Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise (2nd viewing) - ***/5

February 21st
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (2nd viewing) - ***/5
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning - **/5

February 22nd
Iron Man - ****/5

March 2nd
Eyes Wide Shut - ****/5

March 7th
Watchmen (Imax) - *****/5

March 14th
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster - ***/5
Diary of the Dead - **/5

March 15th
My Date with Drew - ***/5

March 18th
The Magnificent Seven (4th? viewing) - *****/5

March 19th
The Onion Movie - ***/5

March 22nd
Be Kind Rewind - ***/5

March 23rd
Grease 2 - **/5

March 25th
Little Shop of Horrors (1986, 8th-ish viewing) - *****/5

March 28th
Fast Food Nation - ***/5
Elvira's Haunted Hills - **/5
St Trinians - **/5

April 1st
Stand By Me (5th-ish viewing) - *****/5

April 14th
My Name is Bruce - ***/5

April 18th
Let The Right One In - ****/5

April 20th
Pineapple Express - **/5

April 25th
9 to 5 - ***/5
Sydney White - **/5

May 2nd
Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain - ***/5

May 6th
The Orphanage (2nd viewing) - *****/5

May 10th
Zombies Zombies Zombies - **/5
Superhero Movie - **/5

May 11th
Star Trek (2009) - ****/5

May 12th
Midnight Cowboy - ***/5

May 15th
The Gingerdead Man - **/5

May 23rd
The Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust - ***/5
Son of Rambow - ****/5

May 24th
Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation - ***/5

May 27th
Drag Me to Hell - ****/5

May 30th
Five Across the Eyes - **/5
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay - ***/5

May 31st
Small Town Folk - ***/5

June 4th
Twilight - ***/5 (Mini review at http://tinyurl.com/p5wqs8 )

June 6th
Candy Stripers - **/5 (Mini review at http://tinyurl.com/nbdp7d )

June 7th
Onechanbara: The Movie - ***/5 (Mini review at http://tinyurl.com/o2refa )
The Doll Master - ***/5 (Mini review at http://tinyurl.com/mupct6 )

June 8th
Alien Apocalypse - ***/5

June 10th
Ghostbusters (??th viewing) - *****/5

June 13th
Psycho Beach Party - ***/5

June 14th
The Hangover - ****/5

June 16th
Burn After Reading - ****/5

June 17th
Sleepy Hollow (2nd viewing) - ****/5

June 19th
Hairspray (2007) - ****/5

June 20th
Ghoulies (2nd viewing) - **/5
Ghoulies II (2nd viewing) - **/5

June 21st
Ghoulies go to College - **/5
Troll - **/5

June 25th
Shaun of the Dead - (3rd viewing) *****/5

June 28th
The Incredible Hulk - ***/5

July 3rd
Made of Honor - **/5

July 4th
Mamma Mia! - */5

July 5th
Casablanca (??th viewing) - *****/5

July 10th
Star Wars (??th viewing) - *****/5

July 14th
Megaladon - */5

July 21st
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - ****/5

July 25th
Prom Night (2008) - */5

July 31st
Quadrophenia - ****/5

August 1st
Over Her Dead Body - **/5

August 3rd
Doomsday - ***/5

August 8th
Anvil: The Story of Anvil - ****/5
American Teen - ***/5

August 9th
JCVD - ***/5

August 13th
Shark Attack 3: Megaladon - ***/5 (For entertainment value)

August 15th
Inglourious Basterds - *****/5

August 16th
Skinwalkers - **/5
Creature from Black Lake - **/5
Shark Attack - **/5

August 17th
Tomorrow Never Dies (2nd viewing) - ***/5

August 18th
Teeth - ****/5

August 19th
Crocodile 2: Death Roll - **/5

August 23rd
(500) Days of Summer - ****/5
The X-Files: I Want to Believe - **/5
Friday the 13th (2009) - **/5

August 27th
Donkey Punch - ***/5

August 29th
In The Loop - ****/5
Role Models - ***/5
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus - **/5

August 30th
Crank: High Voltage - ***/5

August 31st
Zombie Women of Satan - (Not rated as I know people involved)
The Final Destination (3D version) - **/5
The Descent: Part 2 - ***/5

September 1st
Adventureland - ***/5

September 5th
I Love You, Man - ***/5

September 7th
Demon Slayer - */5

September 8th
District 9 - ****/5

September 13th
True Romance (3rd viewing) - *****/5

September 16th
Gone Baby Gone - ****/5

September 19th
Sleepaway Camp - ***/5

September 24th
Religilous - ***/5

September 25th
Sex Drive - ****/5
Dead Snow - ****/5

September 26th
Bring It On: Fight to the Finish - */5
What Just Happened - ***/5
He's Just Not That Into You - **/5

September 27th
Gran Torino - ***/5
The Boat That Rocked - **/5

September 28th
Ghost Town - ***/5

September 29th
The Bachelor - **/5
Rope - ****/5

September 30th
Psycho (1960, 4th-ish viewing) - *****/5

October 3rd
Colin (2nd viewing) - Not rated as I know people involved

October 5th
The Wave - ***/5

October 6th
Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom (?th viewing) - *****/5

October 10th
Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers - **/5

October 11th
Eraserhead - (3rd? viewing) - ****/5

October 12th
The Foot Fist Way - ****/5

October 13th
The Blair Witch Project - (4th viewing) - *****/5

October 15th
Coraline - ****/5

October 17th
Doghouse - (Not rated as I know people involved)

October 18th
Up - *****/5

October 20th
Cloverfield (2nd viewing) - ****/5
Zombieland - ****/5

October 25th
Eden Lake - ***/5
The House Bunny - **/5

October 26th
Trick 'R Treat - ****/5

November 3rd
Quantum of Solace (2nd viewing) - ****/5
Road House (2nd viewing) - ***/5

November 7th
Saw V - **/5
Bad Biology - ***/5

November 10th
The Shawshank Redemption - (?th viewing) *****/5
Jennifer's Body - ***/5

November 18th
Before Sunrise (3rd viewing) - *****/5

November 23rd
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - **/5

November 26th
Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope - (?th viewing) *****/5

November 29th
The Notorious Bettie Page - ***/5

November 30th
Paranormal Activity - ****/5

December 1st
The Princess Bride (?th viewing) - *****/5

December 4th
American Pie (4th-ish viewing) - ****/5

December 8th
The Breakfast Club - (?th viewing) - *****/5

December 12th
American Pie presents The Book of Love - **/5

December 14th
American Pie presents Band Camp (2nd viewing) - ***/5

December 15th
Edward Scissorhands (?th viewing) - *****/5
Where the Wild Things Are - ****/5

December 21st
A Christmas Wedding - */5

December 22nd
The Christmas Clause - */5

December 30th
Avatar (3D version) - ****/5 (*****/5 for spectacle)

December 31st
Shark Attack 3 (2nd viewing) - ***/5 (for entertainment)

Back to the writing board

So, House on the Witchpit.

I've been messing around with the screenplay since about 2002, and it has changed a lot. The first draft was a fairly cheerful horror comedy; heavy on the sexy witches angle and up to the eyeballs in debt to Warlock in terms of structure. That first draft is pretty close to TrashHouse in terms of tone, and if I'd have shot it when I intended to (around 2005) it would probably have fit reasonably nicely into my output.

Times change, things move on. House on the Witchpit is no longer a frothy horror comedy; the only function of the screenplay is to scare the living shit out of the viewer, and it skews pretty goddamn dark. Then again, I like to think I've come a fair way since TrashHouse too. I hope my movies are getting more interesting and less easy to categorise, and the new-look HotWP fits into my later stuff pretty well.

Writing about bleak situations is a strange sensation for me. I'm a generally pretty upbeat kind of guy, and I feel somewhat detached from the jet-black sentiments that I seem to be capable of pouring onto paper (and then transferring onto the screen from there). I can't work out if I feel better or worse to 'let them out' or whether they end up tainting my day; hanging around after me like an evil cloud. Either way, the words seem to want to hit the paper, so I let them. But how dark do I seriously want to let this go? People who ultimately plonk their arses down in front of House on the Witchpit will be expecting a horror movie. They're watching it to be disturbed or creeped out, at least to some extent. But how serious are they about that?

In other words, just how dark do horror movie viewers want their horrors to get?

I'm intrigued to check out von Trier's AntiChrist, which seems to have taken the idea of how far to push and really run with it. I've heard all sorts of mixed opinions, from those who consider it the most effective horror of the last decade through to those who find it utterly laughable. Now matter how far I take HotWP, I can't see myself going to the visual extremes that von Trier has gone. But emotionally? How far is too far?

And, ultimately, am I willing to let go of the part of me that ultimately just wants my viewers to have fun? Because if you're going to deny them fun, you'd better have a damn good reason for it.

Decisions, decisions. I'm extremely proud of the script, though, and hope I make the right choices.

TDM DVD, Christmas approaches..

First things first, my advance copy of Lono Entertainment's US release of The Devil's Music turned up this week. It's out in the US on December 22nd. Chucking my copy at my Xbox 360 seems to suggest that the disc hasn't actually been region locked, which is rather great news for those in the UK who have checked out the movie via IndieMoviesOnline..

(cue blatant plug..)


Watch The Devil’s Music online free



..and are eager for a special edition DVD. For those in the US, the DVD will be your first chance to check the movie out, and I really really hope that you dig it. Lono have done a fantastic job; the special features are great, (including two terrific Easter Eggs for those who enjoy hunting things down!) and give a whole different perspective on the flick. So here's the link.. (Aw, come on, you KNEW another plug was coming..)

THE SPECIAL EDITION DVD!! ORDER FROM AMAZON NOW!!

Right, that should have sorted out all of your Devil's Music needs for the festive season. What else do I have to tell you wonderful cats about?

(This is possibly a diversionary tactic, as Pip is currently out buying a Christmas tree, and I really should be getting all the other decorations down from the loft. But I don't fancy doing that just yet, so I thought I'd chat to you lot instead)

Bordello Death Tales inches ever closer to being actually seen by people. It really won't be long now, I promise. And it's well worth the wait.

Went to see New Moon during the week, and probably shouldn't discuss my feelings about it for fear of alienating a whole bunch of Twilight fans. I also really hate pouring scorn on things that make people happy But then again I don't really think that Twilight fans are my particular demographic anyway, so hell with it.

New Moon is a terrible film. Terrible in a way that few films manage, and certainly one that makes the first movie in the series look like a masterpiece. From the CGI pantomime bears who pass for werewolves through to the frankly jaw-dropping Council of Vampire Stereotypes, this is a rotten flick. But the thing that makes it stand out from the pack, the thing that truly raises it (or sinks it) to a new level of terrible is its total lack of any sort of humour. There is, if memory serves, a grand total of one line which is meant to be funny in some way, and even that is a sort of quasi-funny line (it's a 'put the dog out' riff in reference to the werewolf). The audience at the screening I was at fell upon that line as if it were some kind of life raft; they hooted, laughed and howled, because the rest of the flick hadn't given them any chance at all to do so. At least not deliberately. You can laugh at the movie, but you can't laugh with it because it contains no sense of humour whatsoever.

Having said that, I emerged from the screening in a great mood. Films as entertainingly bad as New Moon don't come along very often, and I didn't feel shortchanged of my cash.

Elsewhere in sequelville, I checked out American Pie presents The Book of Love, which is number seven for those of us counting. It's much what you'd expect, but it also contains a sequence which cheerfully wanders out of 'gross out' territory and into 'massively disturbing'. It plays like something from a Takashi Miike movie, and the happy music over the top makes it worse. Pip had fallen asleep by this point in the movie, and I briefly wondered whether I had, too, and was actually dreaming. You'll know it when you see it.

Oh, and for anyone who's not yet following me on Twitter, you can do so over here

Right, better go get that stuff out of the loft.

Rock on,
Pat

If you're in the UK..

Go and watch The Devil's Music!

Now!

And spread the word by any means necessary! Twitter, Facebook, IMDB, whatever.. Our movie is in your hands.

http://www.indiemoviesonline.com/news/the-devils-music-premiere-301009

(If you're in the US, don't worry.. The rather awesome DVD will be along on December 22nd!)

Paranormal Activity: You Do The Math

So, is it a good thing or a bad thing for those of us on the tiny-budget side of the Hollywood wall that Paranormal Activity just took the number one box office slot in the US, beating the likes of Saw VI? Given that PA allegedly cost $15,000, mightn't this reignite interest in micro-budget movies that have more to offer in the way of plot, scares and so on than their big-budget counterparts?

Haven't got a clue. My gut tells me that various executives will be scrabbling around looking for other movies to pick up that are exactly like PA. My gut feeling expands on this notion to suggest that, once there are no more micro-budget flicks to pick up that are exactly like PA, they'll pick up a bunch of other stuff and simply market it to look exactly like PA. Then they'll note that the numbers are dropping, conclude that people aren't interested in micro-budget chillers any more, shrug their shoulders and go off and make Saw VII.

The great, grand point of course is that the public didn't flock to PA because it was cheap. They went despite the fact it was cheap. Because it appeared to offer something a bit new. Something a bit different. Something that hadn't been focus-grouped.

I haven't actually seen Paranormal Activity at this point, I hasten to add. I hate making sweeping statements in a blog and then later finding out that I hate the movie in question. I'm assuming I'll like this one. It looks stripped down, lean, scary.. Everything that I very much doubt that Saw VI will be (wouldn't know.. I gave up at IV, which I think showed remarkable staying power all things considered).

Oh, and before I forget, everyone in the UK should point their browsers towards http://www.indiemoviesonline.com next Friday. Hopefully, you all know why.

Rock on,
Pat

Streaming Zeroes and Ones

I'm typing this blog entry listening to Marilyn Manson's The High End of Low on Spotify. I never bothered to pick up the CD when it came out because I'd been underwhelmed by his previous one, plus it happened to come out at the same time as a load of other incredibly good music. But then this evening, I suddenly remembered it. I tapped a few keys, and within seconds I'm listening to it on Spotify. The whole album. Free. In the hour before, I'd been listening to the wonderful new album from The Mountain Goats. Also on Spotify, and also free. OK, so there are short ads every few tracks, but they're only about 10 seconds long and pretty unintrusive.

Is this the way the music industry is likely to go? Or is it just one more means of distribution? There are already murmurings that the Spotify business model leaves artists out of pocket, or that the free version might be unsustainable, but right now it's certainly something that works for me. I won't be abandoning CDs or paid MP3s from Amazon just yet, but Spotify's a pretty cool new way of checking stuff out that I'm curious about.

Naturally, this is a subject close to might heart right now. The Devil's Music will be available, free, in HD, across the UK only for online screenings starting on Friday, thanks to the amazing folks at http://www.indiemoviesonline.com. This is our first venture into these brave new distribution methods, and I'm ridiculously excited. IMO have been fantastic with the launch of the flick.. Hopefully by now you've seen the full page ad on the inside back cover of this month's Total Film, and there are more ads to follow in other publications. They've given the flick a great big marketing push and hopefully thousands upon thousands of people will see the movie over the coming weeks.

Is this the future of film distribution? Time will tell, but it sure looks promising. In the meantime, hope you all enjoy the film. Be sure to let us know.

The Daily Mail & Howard the Duck

So, Jan Moir spouts a bunch of homophobic garbage and people final notice that the Daily Mail is a foul, grubby little paper which spreads hatred via innuendo. Everybody goes to the PCC to register their dissaproval, then suddenly notices that the PCC's chairman is actually Paul Dacre who (drumroll) is also the editor of the foul, grubby little paper in the first place. People really haven't been paying attention, but it's nice that they're finally joining the party.

I got to the party early. I was setting out dips and drinks before everyone else arrived. Because I got a crash-course in how the Daily Mail operates at the tender age of 12, when the wretched paper in question gave my parents the impression that I was interested in bestiality. Yes, it's the second rant about newspaper fact-checking this year, and with apologies to EE Cummings; here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called pure dark hatred of the Daily Mail.

I wasn't the coolest 12 year old going. I was vaguely awkward and vaguely weird, but I was just beginning to fashion myself an identity all of my very own. That identity, unsurprisingly, was based on movies. I loved 'em, and I realised early on that by going out on a limb and loving the movies that nobody else loved, by paying attention to those poor, confused, malformed little flicks that everyone else seemed determined to kick into the gutter I could stand out from the crowd at school. Whilst they sung the praises of whatever flick had just hit the local Odeon, I'd sing the praises on a straight-to-VHS Charles Band movie that I'd rented. And people would listen, and laugh, and I'd be the Movies Guy, which was a damn sight better than just being the guy who was always picked three-from-last for every sports team going.

One afternoon after school, I went to see Howard The Duck with my mate Dan Rice. HTD had been a horrible flop at the US box office, to the degree that it was retitled on these shores as Howard:A New Breed of Hero and the advertising campaign (rather brilliantly) went to absurd lengths to conceal that the hero was a duck. We saw the late afternoon showing at a fantastic cinema in Westcliff called the Classic (which was knocked down and turned into a fucking Halfords some years later) and there were only two other people watching the movie. Evidently, Howard was repeating the egg he'd laid Stateside. I loved the movie. It was horribly misjudged and hugely embarrassing, so I naturally told everyone who cared to lend an ear how wonderful I thought it was.

That Saturday morning, I awoke to hear my parents discussing something in hushed tones. When I entered the room they fell silent. Then, very cautiously, my Mum started to ask me about 'that duck film'. I sensed that something was horribly amiss, and my eyes fell onto the copy of the Daily Mail that lay on my Mum's bedside table. Apparently, a schoolteacher had taken a class of 6 year-olds to see Howard, and had marched them all out at 'bedroom scene'. She had then written to her favourite shitrag vocalising her disgust, and the Mail had responded by detailing various events from HTD with all traces of humour or context carefully removed. So my parents now thought that the film that I had been championing all week was, not to put too fine a point on it, a duck-fucking movie. No matter how much I protested that it 'wasn't like that', the mud stuck.

That time, as a 12-year old, I crumbled. I took back my support for the movie and felt an odd shame every time the title was mentioned. The Mail took something I'd loved and turned it into a source of embarrassment, something that made me feel awkward and sad. For years, I persuaded myself that Howard The Duck didn't exist; if it didn't exist, I had nothing to be embarrassed about.

Weird the way these experiences shape a man. The whole Howard The Duck incident taught me a lot of things. It taught me that context is all-important. It taught me that just because it's okay for Lea Thompson to want to fuck her son in Back To The Future, that apparently doesn't mean it's okay for her to want to fuck a duck in Howard The Duck (Seriously, what was her agent thinking? Fear of typecasting?). But most of all, it taught me that the Daily Mail has a special mirror of lies which can turn whatever it reflects into something foul and ugly.

There, i made it through the whole blog without mentioning the whole 'they supported the nazis' thing.

Dammit.

Ad in next month's Total Film..

KillerKiller: A look back at filming

Bad Journalism

Y'know sometimes how a story or a situation can just sit in the back of your mind all week? Well, it's been one of those weeks. In this case, the thing that's been pinging around my cranium for the last few days has been this article from the Guardian.

It's the worst piece of journalism I've seen in a while, and whilst two of those comics who have been misrepresented have been afforded a right-of-reply (Richard Herring's can be read here and Brendon Burns' can be read here) this is still too little too late in my book.

I've long been troubled by the idea of how the press can deliberately misrepresent a person, and to take an avowedly and outspokenly anti-racist such as Herring and use out of context quotes to portray him as the opposite is fundamentally depressing but nothing new.

Here's a fun game to play. Take a look around your house, and see what items could be misrepresented in some way by the tabloids were you ever to stand accused of a crime. Granted, my own house is full of a great deal of amassed paraphernalia from years of shooting straight-to-DVD splatter movies, so I have a head start. I've got an awful lot of bloodstained wedding dresses, gimp masks, surgical tools, cheerleader outfits and chainsaws sitting in my loft, which would pretty much mean that the tabloids would hang me without trial if they ever found the need to. But what about beyond that? Ok, let's have a rummage through a typical loft.

What do we have here?

"Films feature full-frontal footage of naked children, and real-life death and mutilation"

That'd be Superman: The Movie, Good Morning Vietnam and JFK..

"Publications featuring underage sexualised nudity"

That'd be back-issues of the tabloid newspapers themselves (!) from a few years ago before they raised the minimum age for Page 3 from 16 to 18.

"Audio recordings detailing mutilation, rape and murder"

That'd be the Eminem albums.

"Books detailing black magic rituals"

Harry Potter stand up and take a bow.

It sounds like I'm exaggerating for comic effect here, but I'm really not. The cumalative effect of listing a whole bunch of stuff completely out of context is a very powerful thing. If I'd never heard of Richard Herring prior to that article on Monday I would, frankly, have assumed that he was at best an idiot and at worst a fascist. The fact that he's actually one of the best stand-ups in the country and has strongly held and frequently articulated anti-racist views makes the article both incredibly irritating and also rather dangerous.

I still can't work out Brian Logan's motives, and in a way I'm past caring. If it was an article in the Daily Mail I'd be able to shrug it off easier (frankly, if you read that piece of shit and expect it to be anything other than incoherent lies then you deserve everything you get), but The Guardian turns up on my mat most mornings, and I'd credited them with a little more. Not a lot, just a little.

As Beck once so beautifully put it..

"Don't believe everything that you read,
You get.."

(Coughs.. Squints at lyrics sheet)

"..a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve"

The Devil's Music Release

We're delighted to announce that The Devil's Music has signed with the excellent Lono Entertainment for US DVD release. Check out Lono's homepage at http://lonoentertainment.com/ and, while you're over there, order yourself a copy of James Eaves' fantastic movie Bane which Lono are also distributing.

We're hoping that the DVD will hit in time for Halloween, so I'd best stop typing this blog and get back to preparing our delivery list.

Hopefully we'll be making an announcement regarding a rather unconventional UK release in the next few weeks.

Colin and the BDT rough assembly

It's been a pretty amazing few weeks for our buddy Marc Price, who headed out to Cannes to promote his fantastic £45 epic Colin and ended up everywhere from CNN to The Sun. He was also all over TV that weekend. It's a fantastic example of what can happen in this crazy world of tiny budgets and big ideas..
Back at Jinx, we had the pleasure of sitting and watching the rough assembly of Bordello Death Tales last week. It was a cool experience and a really unusual one; it's not often that a filmmaker gets to sit down and watch a movie that he's directed a third of, yet hasn't seen the rest. I love the flick to bits. It's got a real energy to it, and hopefully delivers more or less everything genre fans are looking for. I can't wait to see it with a festival audience.

Hellbride Release Hits..

..and it's great. The DVD came through my door last week, and Midnight have done a terrific job on it. The movie has been remastered from the HD source and looks brighter and cleaner than any of the screeners. The extras are all good fun, including a commentary with myself and my esteemed DoP Al Ronald. It also hasn't been region locked, so it'll play in more or less any player that you put it into. This one's a must-buy, kids, so point your browser to;

THIS AMAZON LINK RIGHT HERE!!

..and pick up a copy now!

Elsewhere on the web, there's a new interview with me over at;

I LIKE HORROR MOVIES INTERVIEW

which is the first one I've done in a little while. Any other horror sites or blogs wanting to run interviews in support of Hellbride, get in touch and I'll be happy to help.

I've been trying to sort of the remastering of KillerKiller for a potential BluRay release.. It'll hopefully happen, but there just aren't enough hours in the day at the moment..

Release Strategies

As I've blogged about previously, the industry is in a state of flux and release strategies are changing all the time. New business models are cropping up all over the place; I humbly direct your attention through to Indie Movies Online who are offering free, streamed flicks (including Jake West's wonderfully splattery Evil Aliens) whenever you want them. Other folks have been grabbing the digital bull by the horns, and offering flicks in varied digital formats as well as burn-on-demand DVD.. (invest a few quid in Rob Pratten's MindFlesh or Al Ronald's Jesus vs the Messiah to check out cutting edge indie distribution).

Soooo.. Where does that leave us?

Well, Hellbride's going the traditional route to DVD but will also be avaailable for download within the US at least.. (URL to follow next update). We've been looking at the possibilities of initially launching The Devil's Music in a download format, but.. but..

To be honest, it's kind of scary. There's a comfort zone with DVD. It's an established format and we kind of know what to expect from it. The idea of taking the leap of a download/burn-on-demand release for a movie like TDM is slightly daunting; it's a great flick and we don't want to compromise the release in any way. We won't need to make a decision for another few months regardless; we want to give the Hellbride release room to breathe before unleashing TDM on a home format. But the decision will have to be made. And how long are tangible formats actually going to stick around for?

Hellbride Artwork

As the release date for Hellbride draws closer (May 5th, or May 12th depending on where you read it. I have no inside information either way), I thought you might dig a look at the artwork..




Don't forget you can preorder over at Amazon by following this funky link right here.

Hellbride BTS

He shoots, he scores..

The 'he' in question being the mighty Phil Sheldon, who has worked on the scores of all my movies since KillerKiller. This evening, I sat down with Phil and listened to his work thus far on Vice Day, (which, for those who haven't been paying attention, is my chapter of the forthcoming Bordello Death Tales).

It's a weird, dark art; the ability to accentuate, compliment and bring to life the images onscreen with sound palettes and music. Many times, I've gone on about how much I like scores that are a little counter-intuitive (the aforementioned KK score being my favourite example; instead of going for doom-laden bass, Phil opted for sparse acoustic guitar and completely changed the feel of the movie in a way that I absolutely loved). For Vice Day, Phil's opted for stabs of accentuation and some recurring motifs for the two main characters, along with the occasional wig-out for when onscreen action demands it. Watching the segment through with his rough work was a joy.. It brought a couple of moments that had felt a bit flat vividly back to life, and has filled me with a fire to raise my game on the final edit to wring every ounce of tension, sexiness and horror out of the final segment that I possibly can.

Music and sound is so vital. It's an area that I've been guilty of neglecting at times during shoots, leaving sound crew to work with twitchy equipment and insufficient set-up times, or simply hoping for the best under impossible conditions, (the KK shoot, with wildly varying dialogue volumes from different directions in an impossibly echoey environment, must have left our long-suffering sound man Magic weeping into his cans). Tonight was a vivid reminder as to how the audio is every bit as vital as the onscreen images, and I'm determined never to let the area go neglected again.

Can't wait to hear Phil's final version, and I'm itching to get back to the edit suite with a renewed enthusiasm for the project as a whole.

A great evening, all told.

Running up to Christmas..

Having a fun last couple of weeks before Christmas, mixing festive preparations with post-production on BDT. I delivered the mid-cut of my story over to our composer Phil last week, which is always an exciting turning-point in post. I love seeing what he comes up with; sometimes he ends up heading in a fairly counter-intuitive direction. Innumerable lesser talents would have scored KillerKiller with doomy chords, but Phil opted for a fragile acoustic melody which utterly altered the vibe of the flick for the better. We've chatted a little about possible directions for the BDT chapter, but now it's really a case of waiting to see what he comes up with whilst I sit and tweak shots here and there and gently edge the mid cut towards being a fine cut.
I think the other guys are at around the same point as me with their own respective post-production schedules. Can't wait to see the three fine cuts assembled as a movie sometime early in 2009. Be weird sitting down to watch a flick that I've only been a third responsible for.
Had another great review for The Devil's Music over at HorrorNews.Net (click 'reviews' and we're in there).
Fairly well prepped for Christmas, I reckon. We've got a good number of family heading over this year, and we've been trying to work out how to actually fit everybody in. Festive vibes definitely kicking in. And on that note, I'll take the opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas. Although knowing me that'll probably mean that I'll end up doing another blog entry this week and then have to do it all over again.

Peace n love,
Pat

Photos and Chainsaws

What you are looking at is the official image of the three directors from Bordello Death Tales. Handsome bunch, aren't we? (Left to Right: Al Ronald, myself, Jim Eaves). Weird to have 'official' photos, which seem to end up getting used over and over again for ages.

The black & white photo that's probably at the top of this blog, for example, (although may not be if you're reading a reskinned version within another site) is bloody ancient. It was actually a publicity photo from back when I was doing stand-up rather than directing horror movies. I was thinking of getting a new one but, frankly, who the hell do I think I am? I haven't stuck a photo onto my IMDB page either, and can't quite work out whether I should or not. On the 'not' side.. I'm a writer/director, so why the fuck should anybody actually care what I look like? On the 'should' side, most of the directors that I like best have carefully cultivated a public image, complete with wardrobe gimmics, and so I sort of feel like I can get away with it. Plus, let's be honest, I'm an attention junkie. If I wasn't an attention junkie I'd have never got involved in movies, let alone my prior stint in stand-up.

One of the reasons I've been thinking about photos.. The chainsaw from TrashHouse finally made its way back home to the Jinx office the other week. And it's almost impossible to resist the urge to pose with it. It's a hulking great thing, damn heavy and really looks like it means business. And I keep thinking, hey, maybe I can find an excuse to pose for a publicity photo with that sucker. I know it's pathetic and sad. But I make horror movies, for God's sake, so of course I want to pose with chainsaws. Maybe a chainsaw in one hand and a camera in the other. In an urban wasteland. Like I'm in Mad Max.

Please note; I think I'm safely into the realms of self-parody now. But when I look at the chainsaw I'm not too sure. The other odd thing, of course, is that I'm terrified of it. As an object. Even though it doesn't work any more, there's a part of me that feels like it's going to splutter into very real and dangerous life at any minute (hence the amusing 'trivia' that someone added to my aforementioned IMDB page) and start ripping up everything in the house. I'm not an outdoorsy kind of guy, and my only frame of reference for chainsaws is from my own and other people's horror movies. I don't associate them with gardening. I associate them with unpleasantness, so much so that it actually feels oddly transgressive to have one in the house.

Oh, and before I sign off, I was rather pleased last week to notice this blog quoted extensively over on The Melon-Farmers anti-censorship site. I've read that site for years, and is was strange to be reading it and suddenly realising that I was reading my own ramblings.

Rock on,
Pat

The industry

Hmm.. How do I dance around this subject? Is this something I even want to address? At the end of the day, what is the purpose of this blog? Am I basically just here to plug stuff, and say that everything's great? Because sometimes it ain't that great.

Because, as far as independents are concerned, the industry is broken.

A quick look around the shelves of my local Blockbuster (which, as a chain, has its own problems), reveals that very nearly all the straight-to-DVD horror on their shelves is put out by Sony or Lionsgate (oh, those tiny independents). Two years ago, when TrashHouse hit those shelves, there were at least a dozen distribution companies regularly putting out indie horror and getting decent distribution for it. Nowadays, they all seem to have either gone out of business or, at very best, gone into a kind of suspended animation whilst hoping to weather the storm. Companies are folding left and right; some of them, like Tartan, make headlines. Countless others have just quietly stopped putting out product and expired.

There will be a new system. It's not all doom and gloom. But the new major distribution system, which I presume will be some kind of complete video-on-demand package which will enable folks to watch any movie from any period straight onto their telly for either a monthly subscription or a per-movie charge, isn't here yet. It might be years away, and God knows whether it'll be indie-friendly or a totally closed loop.

So we're in a kind of limbo at the moment. The day a movie hits the shelves in a single territory it also hits the torrents worldwide, which can be fatal for an indie with no simultaneous worldwide release. There seems to be no way of making money on smaller movies. Obviously, the BBFC have done their very best to turn the knife by tightening their restrictions on things like commentaries, (which now have to be rated as a whole new work, thus adding vast amounts of money to the BBFC costs) and Behind The Scenes materials. Thus when an indie flick does manage to get out onto DVD in the current climate, it can't even afford to have the full extras on the UK disc which might actually persuade people to buy it. And without economies of scale working in it's favour, it's gonna end up costing the consumer twice as much as a 2-disc set of a blockbuster. For a vanilla disc. And the consumer, understandably, will vote with their wallet.

I've seen awesome movies that would have been snapped up two years ago fail to find even basic distribution. There are, of course, other options to be explored. There's a terrific blog over at Zen Films about their decision to self-distribute the movie MINDFLESH which is a really interesting read.. Tragically, though, the BBFC requirements as they currently stand would make a UK version of the Amazon Unbox scheme mentioned in the article completely non-viable. Thus driving yet more of our independent film business out of the country.

The whole thing's a total bummer for those who make and those who enjoy watching independent cinema.

Dammit, I've depressed myself.

Back to endlessly plugging my stuff next time, I promise.

Rock on,
Pat

Good Morning America

And thankyou.

Not one for going wildly off topic on this blog, but watching the US election last night was a pretty amazing experience. Pip & I finally turned in at about 7am, after a bottle of bubbly and a couple of cigars. Here's to a bright and fantastic future.

Oh, and just to keep this post on topic, there's a new interview with me over on indieflicks.co.uk..

More Bordello..

More coverage over at Fangoria (where their new site seems to sometimes glitch in IE for some reason; try Firefox if you have problems) where they also have some exclusive stills, including the first glimpse of Al's Stitchgirl chapter, which isn't actually seen in the teaser trailer..

Bordello Death Tales

So, you may have heard that BDT is Bordello Death Tales.

The project went public over the weekend, with a teaser trailer, teaser poster and everything. You can check them over at our good friends at HorrorTalk. It's a really exciting project and it's great to see the way that it's coming together; three very different stories all kind of bound up together as one movie. I think Jim, Al and I have come up with something really interesting, and I can't wait to see the film all together.

In other news..

The Devil's Music won Best Independent Feature at the Festival of Fantastic Films in Manchester over the weekend. We're chuffed to bits.. Our first UK screening and we end up with a great award like that. Thanks to everyone involved!

Hellbride signs

Hellbride has signed with those lovely folks over at Maxim Media/Brain Damage Films and should be hitting the US DVD shelves at the beginning of 2009, unless I miss my guess.

I've been insanely busy all week sorting out both the HB deal (completing a delivery list is always fun) and also dealing with post-production on the secret project, which I'm going to call BDT but can't quite tell you why yet. BDT was shooting last week, and is now wrapped apart from a couple of cutaways. I'm very excited about it; it's a very different project than I'm used to, but horror fans should certainly find it something to get excited about. It also gave me the chance to work with a few wonderful old friends again..

More soon. Sssshhhhh.

Secret projects again..

See, I'm spending a fair bit of my time at the moment working on a secret project. Again. Last time around, this was The Devil's Music. This time around, it's not. It's.. Ah, no, can't tell you yet. But soon. Very soon.

We had a Jinx Gathering last week, when 40-odd folks from Jinx's ten year history (that's not ten years of moviemaking, but ten years of doing stuff with the brand identity of 'Jinx'. Years before TrashHouse, I was above a pub in Essex compereing the Jinx Comedy Club). It was bloody brilliant to see folks we hadn't seen in years and share a pint or two with them, and I hope we get to do it again before long. It's always good to touch base. I set out with the clear objective of alternating pints of lager with pints of shandy, and succeeded except for the 'pints of shandy' bit. Despite that, I managed to avoid getting utterly bladdered (although I realise these things are relative) and thoroughly enjoyed the evening.

On a non-Jinx front, the weekend before the gathering we went to see The Faint playing in a tiny little venue called Cargo. I'd like to take this opportunity to say that The Faint are one of the best live bands I've ever seen, and to encourage everyone to run off and check their MySpace page at http://www.myspace.com/thefaint and check out new single The Geeks Were Right. That's my plug for the day..

Oh, and we've got a final contract for Hellbride sitting on the office table, which we expect to be signing in the next day or so. I'll keep you posted.

Rock on,
Pat

A review from Kim Newman

I've been a fan of Kim Newman's writing for a long time.. His book Nightmare Movies was one of the first overviews of the horror genre that I ever purchased, and I read it cover to cover more times than I can imagine.

A couple of years back, Kim Newman reviewed my first movie TrashHouse in this straight-to-DVD column for Empire. It was a brief but positive review, and felt like a real milestone.

Yesterday, we had a lengthy review, from Kim Newman himself, turn up for The Devil's Music. It's a really positive review, and scheduled to run in Empire as soon as we've got a UK release date. I obviously can't reproduce the whole review here, but he's kindly allowed us to run a quote from it over on the main site's page for The Devil's Music. It's over here.

Argentina...

Found out that KillerKiller was released in Argentina last month too. Had no idea whatsoever. The title has been changed to the rather funky if slightly unoriginal...



Can't work out how to use the Argentinian order sites yet (they don't seem to have an Amazon) so haven't successfully ordered it to add to my 'international copies of my movies' collection yet. Anyone feels like pointing me in the right direction I'd be extremely grateful.

I've also been working on a project that hasn't been announced properly, so I'm never sure how much I'm meant to say about it. I'm sure I'll just blurt it out myself before too long; I've never been too good with secrets. Except The Devil's Music, which I was very proud of myself for how long I kept it to myself.

Oh, and there are apparently more midnight screenings of KillerKiller in certain UCI cinemas in Germany this coming weekend, so keep an eye out if you're in the country.

I'm sure I'll get round to doing a proper detailed blog again soon. But I'm sure you love these little updates in the meantime!

German Cinema Release

KillerKiller somewhat unexpectedly hit German cinemas for midnight showing across the country at selected UCI theatres last weekend, which we were delighted about.

Oh, and the second part of the Micro Budget guide on Zone Horror is over here.

Lost Tales of Erika Spawn part 3

Lost Tales of Erika Spawn part 2

Lost Tales of Erika Spawn

Too Far Back..

Can't really regale you with many more tales from Cannes after all, since it's all a bit of a jumble without my notes to go from. Some of the memories are very pleasant (meeting up for the first time in years with our very own Lucy Sweet, Amber Moelter), some slightly less so (slogging around the Marche du Film for the umpteenth time) but I'm buggered if I can get them into any sort of coherent order so I'd probably best abandon the effort. It was a hell of an experience, though, and I'm sure I'll end up back there before too long.

Since returning, I've been hammering away on various projects. Some personal ones (my brother Colin got married the other week, and I cut them together a wedding video) some freelance ones (filming stand-ups and music videos.. Drop me a line if you're interested in my services for this sort of thing) and some company ones (sorting through our various distribution options for Hellbride and The Devil's Music.. There are certainly decisions to be made in the next couple of weeks). Also went to Glastonbury last weekend, which is kind of traditional for me (I think that was my 13th one).

I'm in the office all alone this week, since Pip's out on a shoot at Elstree. Well, I say alone. There are still the cats, who pop in and bother me whenever I'm doing something important that really doesn't benefit from loud mewing. Phone interview? George decides that it's time for a spot of loud mewing. Contract stuff? Buffy decides to howl like she's had vital parts of her reproductive system removed. Which, of course, she has. But that was ages ago, and she can't still be upset about it.

Oh, and the Zone Horror website are running my four-part guide to making micro-budget movies. The first chunk is over here.

Cannes and back again..

Hi folks; sorry for the delay in posting about our Cannes adventures. I'm sure you've all been burning up with anticipation.

We drove to Cannes rather than flying; a jaunt across on the ferry, then a straight drive down to Lyon accompanied by various George Carlin albums. We crashed out in Lyon overnight, and then made the last leg of the journey into Cannes to arrive on Saturday 17th. Soon after arriving at our campsite (yes, we stayed at a campsite. Because we are indie filmmakers and thus poor. We were not the only folks emerging from tents in tuxedos, I can tell you..), we got a text from our friends Jim & Laura (who have just completed an absolutely cracking flick called BANE, which I demand that you check out as soon as you get the opportunity), suggesting that we meet them over by the accreditation booth. After duly picking up our passes we headed off to meet them; we stopped for some grub and a few beers and then headed off towards a beach party thrown in association with South African filmmakers. It was a lovely party that had obviously been carefully planned, but the torrential rain that evening kind of ruined the beach vibe a bit. I got cheerfully smashed on the free booze and chatted to filmmakers from all around the globe. We somehow made it back to the campsite at around 2am, (meeting a very chatty German editor en route, who helped us get the right bus stop!)

On Sunday, we met up with a UK screenwriter called Neth Knowles and went for a recce around the Marche as the bullshit levels in the air at the UK pavilion were hurting our ears. Made the decision to spend the day getting a feel for the place rather than approaching distribs/sales agents. At least sleeping in a tent had minimised my hangover.. We wandered into a buyers' screening of Reeker 2, (despite not actually being buyers), and I can happily report that its far, far better than the original. In the evening, we attended a little function at the Canadian Pavilion before heading out to meet the guys who made The Zombie Diaries, who were out drinking with our old buddy James Fisher from Hellbride. We all ended up at the Petit Majestic (merely a bar, but the main hangout for an awful lot of UK industry folks) where we met the team behind forthcoming Britflick Hotel Caledonia, who were extremely nice guys to chat to. The film sounds like it's going to be storming, too.

Monday rolled around, and it became apparent that it was time to hit the Marche proper. We'd got a list of companies that we were hoping to approach, and we made our way around all three floors of stands selling product from all over the world. The key word, of course, being selling.. Not all of them had the slightest interest in acquiring new stuff. We got some good reactions regardless; mainly from companies who were extremely tired of people coming up and pitching ideas or presales, and were relieved to see a finished film for once. I'll keep the companies that we had the most productive meetings with to myself, if you don't mind; never a good idea to discuss 'might happen' deals in public. There were certainly a couple of companies that impressed us a lot, though, and I hope we get the chance to deal with them in the future.

Cleverly, my notes regarding exactly what we did on a day-to-day basis run out at that point. I'll see if I can break down the rest and fill you in with the rest of our adventures on my next post!

KillerKiller International Releases

Another new interview up at Cinescare, which should hopefully satisy your need to hear me go on about The Devil's Music for a while.

Been checking out the details of some of the international releases for KillerKiller. The Russian version is already out. The title has been translated to (roughly) Prison of those Doomed, and the slightly insane cover art doesn't have an awful lot to do with the movie but I kind of dig it regardless..



I'm dying to hear the Russian dub, I truly am. My copy should be turning up in the next few days, so I'll keep you posted. The German release, however, has gone for the slightly more traditional approach..



I've no idea how the DVDs will shape up otherwise (whether either of them are the widescreen version rather than the 4:3 crop, whether either of them have any good extras), but I shall keep you posted nonetheless.

As far as pre-production goes, I'm officially juggling three projects (BrainBath, House on the Witchpit and Strippers vs Werewolves). That should be enough to keep me occupied but isn't, however, the whole story.. There's another project that I can't really discuss yet because other directors are involved and its not my place to blurt things out before official announcements. And there's also the fact that I keep getting these crazy ideas for a Hellbride 2 which I can't seem to shift. Considering that Hellbride hasn't actually been released yet other than festival screenings, I should probably wait until the DVD is actually out before making any decisions about sequels.

I love sequels. Just because I haven't shot one so far does not mean that I might not do so in the future...

Reviews and brochures

A big box of our Cannes brochures turned up from the printers last week. We're trying to get a Flash version online, but we're having a few technical hitches. Hopefully I'll be able to give you a link next entry.
We've been getting lots of great coverage and reviews... Check out the coverage at;
Cinescare Review
SexGoreMutants Review
SexGoreMutants Interview
Horrorview Review
Horror Asylum Review
Fatally Yours Review
Best Horror Movies Review
The MJ Simpson Review that I already posted
I've heard tell that there should be reviews going up fairly shortly on both Fangoria.com and Horrortalk.com as well. I should perhaps mention that some of the above reviews are a bit spoilerish, so if you want to check out the flick 'clean' you might want to click with care...

Getting ready for Cannes

We've never been to the Cannes Festival before. We've had folks out there representing our movies, sure, but during the actual festival I've always been hunched over an edit suite or a word-processing package in our office.
This year, however, we're finally going. Our accreditation came through the other week and we've got our accomodation sorted, so all that remains is an endless list of things not to forget. We've been sorting out our publicity materials first and foremost, as I imagine we're in a fairly unique position as far as small UK companies go in terms of quantity of projects (four complete, three in development or preproduction) so we need to make sure that we're representing ourselves in the best way. We've been putting together a brochure that has a similar layout to the main Jinx Media website, but we'll need to get it to the printers fairly soon which seems a shame whilst we've still got great quotes for The Devil's Music coming in all the time.
It's a really weird time at Jinx Media; like whatever happens next is going to be different somehow. Bigger, quite possibly, but certainly different from what's gone before... Hey, without change life would get pretty boring.

First Review

Always incredibly, incredibly tense reading the first review...

On MJ Simpson's website

And exhale ;)

The Devil's Music Cast & Crew Screening

Last Friday we had the cast and crew screening for The Devil's Music at the BFI in Stephen St, central London.

Cast & Crew screenings are always slightly odd beasts. It's a room full of people who are a bit nervous. For most of the cast and crew, they're nervous to see how something that they invested loads of time and energy into, ages ago, has turned out. For them, it's like spending two months mixing the ingredients for a cake, then having to spend 8 months waiting for it to cook without being able to peek into the oven to see how its doing. For those involved in post-production, however, it's a different matter.

Take me, for example. Whereas other folk in the audience might have entirely forgotten about certain scenes, be unaware of other bits that were added as pick-ups and so on, I'm painfully aware of everything. And it's all so familiar, from months of editing and polishing, that I've completely lost perspective on the whole damn thing. I can't even hear the dialogue being spoken, let alone process it; all I hear is background noises, edit glitches and so on.

So there's all different kinds of nervous in the room. But its good nervous. Happy nervous. And Friday rocked the house in all kinds of ways. To watch the movie in a nice full screening room is exactly what I needed right now; this flick delivers the goods and our hard work has paid off handsomely.

The aftershow party is always a blur, and it's always tough to try and get to speak to and thank everyone. I woke up the next morning with a bit of a sore throat (3 cigars) and a bit of a sore head (an indeterminate amount of beers), trying to work out whether I'd managed to thank everyone. I hadn't, so if anyone I didn't manage to get to during those couple of hours is reading this, thankyou so much for making this flick happen.

Now to work out what happens next...

Locking/Not Locking

The Devil's Music is close to locking. We're still missing some score elements and sound mixing, but the movie itself is perilously close to completion. So close, in fact, that a 'nearly done' copy left the office yesterday, heading out so as to sneak in under a festival deadline. Which festival, however, is something that I shall keep close to my chest; if they don't want us, I'm not going to give them free publicity!

Knowing when to stop tinkering on a movie is a real art. There are a couple of minor things I did to KillerKiller in the week before delivery that I really wish I could go back and undo; there comes a point where you lose perspective as an editor. You've seen the film so many times that you start to see any and all alterations as being positive just because they provide something new to look at. And I'm damn sure that I don't want that to happen with The Devil's Music.

When it gets to this point in post, I start chomping at the bit to get the movie seen. We've got our usual low-key cast and crew screening scheduled for next month, and I'm looking forward to people's reactions. It's a cracking flick, in my humble opinion.

First Teaser Poster

FBOTL Video Blog

If I were better organised, I do one of these every day. I'm not, so I don't. Here's one, anyway.

The indie movie life

So, we've leaked the trailer for The Devil's Music, and we should be finished in post by around Christmas and hopefully hitting festivals shortly afterwards. I don't want to say a vast amount more about the movie just yet; there will be plenty of time for that later, (although those itching for a bit more Erika might wish to hit http://www.myspace.com/erikaspawnband ).

Heard recently that KillerKiller has been sold to Germany and Russia. Personally, I'm hoping for a dub rather than a sub, because I'd love to hear Richard Collins' already out-there portrayal of Perry dubbed into Russian.

A couple of folks have been asking when Hellbride is likely to hit DVD.. The answer is that we're planning to hang onto the rights until Cannes next year, where we can hopefully sign several different territories at once. So things might take a little longer, but it'll be worth it in the long run! As for TDM's release.. It's not flat-out horror, so we're looking at getting it shown in a few places that we've never approached with more straightforward genre fare. We've shown the mid-cut to a handful of test subjects and its getting big thumbs-ups. Which is always nice.

Secret Project Isn't Secret Anymore..

Shock release of a teaser trailer!

Welcome to The Devil's Music.

TrashHouse US and public speaking...

A little while back, we reclaimed the US rights for TrashHouse as the company that owned them had hit distribution problems in that territory. Thus, for the first time in a couple of years, the US rights for TrashHouse are actually up for grabs at just the point that the flick is getting a bit of coverage again due to the KillerKiller US release and the UK TrashHouse rerelease. In theory, the timing couldn't be better. In actuality, however, we're so madly busy with the various other stuff on our plate that we haven't really got the time to go pimping the flick to potential distribs, (although Pip has managed to make a few inroads this week). So if any decent horror distribs who deal with the US DVD market happen to be reading this, feel free to get in touch.
We made delivery on the Jim Bob video for his new single Battling The Bottle last week; it should hopefully be turning up on the music channels in the next month. Everyone's very happy with how the shoot went and how the video turned out, so as an experiment into music videos it was very much a success.
Since I've been asked to speak at a couple of places at the beginning of next year, I've put together an hour-long spoken word show about low-budget film production. I've called it Fake Blood on the Lens. Should be fun, although I haven't really spoken in public since quitting stand-up many years ago. I'll run dates once they're confirmed; if you're interested in booking the show for your college/film club/witches coven or whatever then drop a line through to Tim James at tj@jinxmedia.co.uk and he'll sort something out.
And, even despite all that, I somehow managed to drag the secret project through to first assembly. We sat and watched it twice through yesterday. Got another long afternoon at Final Cut Pro ahead of me...

Shooting Movie #4

Principal photography for movie #4 (the secret project, as mentioned in the rather nice Fangoria article over at http://www.fangoria.com/fearful_feature.php?id=4810 ) has been running for the last two weeks. We've been moving around aaaaaaaall over the shop this time. Sunday we were shooting in Dartford, yesterday in Portsmouth, today in Southend, tomorrow in Lewisham and so on. It's a far cry from just being able to plonk our asses down in the Seedbed Centre in Southend for three weeks and shoot there, but it means an awful lot of varied and interesting locations hitting the lens.

Jesus, it's tiring, though. Feel like we haven't stopped for ages; even though we did theoretically get two days off last week, we ended up spending those two days tidying up loose ands and so didn't really get to relax.

The flick is still staying secret for the moment, though. It's not a straightforward deal like the others; we've got to work out how best to approach releasing it into the wild.

Pre-Prod, sly filming and zorbing...

Went zorbing on Saturday, thanks to the generosity of the mighty Richard Collins, (Perry in KK, James in TrashHouse). Pip & I opted for the water based version, where they put you inside a great big ball, chuck a few buckets of water in with you and push you down a hill. It was utterly magnificent and I'd love to have another go some time; maybe trying the 'harness' version which looks a bit more intense. We did it via http://www.spheremania.co.uk/ in case the description has piqued anyone's curiosity enough to want to give it a go.

Pre-prod on the mysterious movie #4 is drawing to a close, and we've got rehearsals this week from Wednesday onwards. Just like last year, I find myself sitting in a room full of props and strange objects. We've got a final location expedition this afternoon, and then it's going to be all systems go until the end of the month.

We've already got a few sly scenes in the can, though, and I think it's going to work out nicely. This one's quite music intensive, and our old collaborator Phil Sheldon has been working himself like crazy to get all of our tunes in place.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

(Oh, and don't forget to order KK on DVD. It hits the shops in the US tomorrow)

Keeping secrets

Dammit, secrets are ruining this blog.

They're making it impossible for me to be open and honest about what I'm up to, and therefore taking away the fun of regular posts. It'll all make sense later in the year, I promise, but at the moment I've got to keep schtum.

I got an email asking whether the secret project is a feature, a short or what. Well, the answer is that it's...

..Drumroll..

A feature. But not a feature that's anything like what we've done before. Very, very different indeed, and I think (hope) that it's going to surprise a lot of people.

Just don't give up on the blog, guys. I'll unglue my mouth and normal service will resume.

KillerKiller on Amazon

Just a quickie, (running about like crazy today), to let you guys know that KillerKiller has appeared for pre-order on amazon.com if you fancy getting your order in early. It's the US version, (thus Region 1), but it might be a little wait for the R2 and surely everyone's multi-region nowadays, aren't they? August 7th is the street date.

http://www.amazon.com/Killer/dp/B000RO8UBK/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-1801306-5647828?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1183041683&sr=1-1

We've also just got our first images from pre-production for the Secret Project in. I'm dying to show you, but I can't.

Rock on,
Pat

Releases, rereleases and that pesky secret project

After a week's delay, the UK rerelease of TrashHouse is actually in the shops today. It's got a funky red cover, all the same special features as the last release but is only £5.99 (or even less if you're lucky). Go and buy it, because it's great.

KK's release, on the other hand, has been confirmed as August 7th in the US. You can preview the artwork, (and pre-order if you live in the USA) over at;
http://www.yorkentertainment.com/cgi/searchvideos.cgi?Action=lookup&Key=YPD+1416

And the secret project is progressing at a fantastic rate. We've sorted a lot of casting, we're deep in pre-production and we're shooting in August. Pippa's fully producing this time, freeing me up to concentrate on writing and directing, which is a real relief. I only wish that I could say more, but it wouldn't be wise at this stage.

In other news, I've also been taken on to direct the video for Jim Bob's next single, Battling the Bottle. It's the former Carter USM frontman's first single from his new album A Humpty Dumpty Thing, out later this year.

All good stuff...

Secret Project

TrashHouse is getting rereleased on UK DVD on June 11th on the Shriek label. It's got nice new red packaging and you can pre-order it for the frankly obscenely cheap price of £3.99 including delivery from HMV. So what are you waiting for? Get your arse over to HMV..
http://www.hmv.co.uk/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;-1;-1;-1&sku=652691

York Entertainment tell me that KillerKiller is set for US DVD release in September, and I should get a firm date for that within the next week or so.

Hellbride is currently heading out to various critics and festivals; we'll keep you updated when it crops up somewhere near you.

BrainBath is set to be the biggest budget, most brain-mashingly dark, surreal and funny Jinx Media movie yet. We're putting together the funding as we speak, (potential investors feel free to get in touch at bbath@jinxmedia.co.uk ) so things might take a little bit longer as the various elements fall into place.

This therefore frees me up for...

The Secret Project.

Can't say a word yet. I just thought I best explain why I'm still so bloody busy all the time...

Hellbride Screening Aftermath

Been a hell of a couple of weeks, culminating in last Friday's double whammy of;

1) Hellbride having two evening screenings at the london BFI office, (cast and crew/invite only), which went fantastically well.
2) The conclusion of the KillerKiller delivery list saga, meaning that all of the masters are now winging their way over to York Entertainment in California and the movie is now officially 'out of our hands'

The screenings were great. My favourites of the cast/crew premieres of all three flicks, by quite a long chalk. The latter screening in particular was extremely lively and loud, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting cheerfully drunk and smoking a large cigar at the aftershow, (I quit the ciggies over two years ago, but allow myself the occasional celebratory cigar; this one came courtesy of Dutch Dore-Boise). We had a couple of guests from Gorezone and Horrortalk in attendance, (Rosie and Dan; hi guys if you're reading), and hopefully they didn't have to put up with too much drunken bollocks from us all.

The start of this week has been somewhat quieter, naturally; we've been sorting out some publicity and reviews whilst I've largely been working on the Brainbath screenplay, which I'm jazzed as hell about, (I keep reading sections of it out to Pip whilst she's trying to work on other stuff, which must drive her insane. I'm lucky I find my own jokes so funny).

Good times. And more to come.

First Hellbride Screening Tonight

Yup, it's that time. The cast and crew screening of Hellbride is happening tonight, which is something I've been really looking forward to... Less than half a dozen people have seen the movie thus far, and tonight around 80-odd folks will get to check it out. Hope they like it!

I've been so madly busy with the KillerKiller delivery list that I haven't had time to draw breath or blog lately, so apologies for that. Delivery lists, for those who don't know, are the fun lists of items that a producer has to deliver to a distribution company when their film gets signed. Certain things are pretty standard, but some stuff varies from contract to contract and there are usually some surprises. Much as we've had to run around like mad to get the list crossed off, I'm extremely glad that we didn't have to deliver an item that I saw on a delivery list for one of the companies that we didn't sign with; a digibeta of an 'airline version' with no sexual content, nudity, violence or bad language at all, yet the same running time. Trying to get that together for KillerKiller might have been sort of fun but I doubt if the result would have been watchable...

KillerKiller signs

We're proud to announce that KillerKiller has signed an all-media worldwide sales and distribution deal with the fine folks at York Entertainment ( http://www.yorkinternationalinc.com/ ). As soon as territories and release dates are confirmed we shall, of course, let you know.

Hellbride locks

Well, as much as any of my flicks lock until the day they get delivered to the distributors. It's done and dusted, and I hope folks agree that it's a cracking little flick.

Of course, only four people have actually seen it yet. I'll be booking the cast and crew screening over the next few days, and can't wait to see what other folks make of it. It's certainly a quirky one; probably the funniest of the three flicks, it somehow feels both a bit more mainstream than KK yet also somehow weirder. I guess we'll see how folks respond soon enough.

The main priority right now becomes sorting out the distribution for 'em, since movies ain't nothing without people actually getting to see them. Details once we've nailed 'em down, folks...

Avoiding Oscars

Sitting here trying to work out what sites are actually safe to visit during the day; I'm trying to avoid finding out the Oscar results, since time-delays and work requirements meant that Pip and I were unable to watch 'em live, (as if often the case), and I've got to muddle through to 7.30pm without finding out the results if we're going to enjoy watching the show through this evening. The oscar show is one of our rituals; a few years back, we used to take it extremely seriously, and watch every flick nommed in every category just so we could have an educated opinion. A few years' worth of worthless shit like A Beautiful Mind picking up every award under the sun kind of beat the fun out of doing that, though, (shit, there goes my chance of ever working with Ron Howard), but the tradition of watching the ceremony straight through with a bunch of good snack food and a bottle of bubbly still holds true. But where is safe today? Where can I actually visit, in the real world or the virtual one? I have BBC News set as my homepage, so everytime I open a browser I now have to avert my eyes. And i know some bugger will get me with a scrolling tickertape somewhere.

Gave the current cut of Hellbride over to Phil and Richard, our scoring guys, at the weekend. They've done some amazing work thus far, and I can't wait to see it all coming together. Pip sat down and watched the current cut yesterday, which is the first time she's seen it since first assembly. It's all very exciting. I should probably start looking into booking a venue for the cast and crew prem pretty soon.

Oh, and I'd also like to point you fine folks over towards http://www.cinescare.com/index.php?page=stories&family=discoveries where the Cinescare folks ran an interview with me, along with reviews of KK and TrashHouse.

Rock on,
Pat

James Kavaz

Went to a funeral yesterday.

Less than two weeks ago, our friend and colleague James Kavaz, who played Harris in KillerKiller and Lesley Meadows in Hellbride, died. He was only in his mid-forties, and had only been diagnosed with cancer about a week beforehand. What can you say about something like that? All the words become obvious and trite.

Having said that, here are my own trite ones for the record. James was a fucking superb actor and a great bloke to have a pint with. I cast him for Hellbride, then watched his audition tape again and offered him KK too without another audition, (despite the characters being vastly different). He had a way of nailing a character down; of bringing them kicking and screaming off the page and onto the screen.

I have no doubt that I would have kept casting James Kavaz in each of my movies from now until retirement, but things don't always work out the way they should. It's strange to be surrounded by his face on everything from the KK poster to the Hellbride footage that I'm still editing; all the while being painfully aware that we're never going to actually see him again.

Words fail.

Sleep well, mate.

And BrainBath joins the party...

Anyone who has visited http://www.jinxmedia.co.uk in the last six months or so might have noticed a mysterious banner for BrainBath which when clicked goes... Dum dum DUUUUUUMMM... Precisely nowhere. Thing is, it's always tricky with things in pre-production to know exactly when to announce them and make them official. One or two of the Jinx Media projects that I mentioned in interviews between the completion of TrashHouse and the commencement of production on KillerKiller and Hellbride have yet to solidify, but it's always difficult to keep your mouth shut when things are at that exciting time when the project is coming together.

So fuck it, I might as well beanspill now and repent at leisure.

The next Jinx Media flick to hit the lens will be BrainBath: a futuristic comedy/horror with far and away our most insane script yet. We're in the process of sorting out finance at the moment, (had a very positive meeting on that very subject yesterday), but it's all looking good for us to get together a significantly higher budget than our movies thus far. The script isn't finished yet, (Jesus, we work hard here, but there are limits... ), but a certain popular character from one of our other flicks makes a return appearance in the current draft. And there are an awful lot of brains in it. Beyond that, we're keeping quiet.

I know it's probably odd to be talking about this, seeing as most readers of this blog are still waiting patiently for KillerKiller and Hellbride. Rest assured, however, we'll have some distribution details on those two bad boys before long, and good things come to those who wait.

Still not sure if I'm going to make it out to Cannes this year, although it's looking altogether more possible than it has done most other years, (I won't be chained to an edit suite in that particular month, at least). Be good to finally meet up with a few international contacts and hopefully make a few new ones; we shall see.

In Love With Hellbride Again

Funny old business, creating stuff.

In order to get something from the starting point to the finish line, you've got to stick with it through the good times and the bad. This is something that I've seen an awful lot of folks fail at; they have a brilliant idea, they start to make it and then when things hit a difficult stretch, (and they will... Of course they will), they abandon it. They never say they're abandoning it, it's just that they've been so busy lately and there just hasn't been time and so on and so on.

Of course, if they were still in that first flush of love for the project they'd make time, but once that's gone you don't often get it back again. And sometimes the bad times can suck, and to stick at it takes real determination. Which is all a way of saying that Hellbride and I have recently found our way out of a really big rocky patch.

Looking back through this blog, I realise that I've sometimes been guilty of treating Hellbride as a bit of an also-ran to KillerKiller. Considering that the two movies were shot back-to-back, it was KillerKiller that got the expensive location. It was KillerKiller that got edited and premiered first, despite being shot second. And KK has probably been the one I've pushed hardest in terms of publicity.

HellBride has always been a bit more fiddly, a bit more awkward, needing a bit more love. KK edited together like a dream, but Hellbride has needed massaging to get it into fighting shape. We've had reshoots, additional scenes added, more special effects. We were due to be at final cut this very week, (sorry for those waiting for screeners), but we're only at mid-cut. Another month of extremely hard work, I reckon.

But here's the thing. I sat an watched the mid-cut through for the first time yesterday and I fucking love it. I haven't felt this 'up' about the flick since we were shooting, and on that run of insanely good luck that we had for the first half of the shoot. It's actually working, and somehow the movie seems more personal to me than KK. I'm not sure why, exactly; maybe because it's got a soft heart where KK's got a little dark lump of coal. It just feels more 'me' somehow.

God knows how that will translate commercially; I always figured that KK was a fearsomely commercial proposition, and didn't really realise how wordy it was until people started pointing it out in reviews. I always thought that Hellbride would be the less commercial of the two, but looking at them both now I'm really not sure.

Sod it, I love 'em both. And I still love that weird older sibling that is TrashHouse, too.

I enjoy doing this job more than anything else I've ever done. All I want to do is tell stories and get them out there, and have some folks love them and some folks hate them. Because it's the folks that hate them that make you appreciate the ones on your wavelength all the more.

Right now, I want to keep doing this until they put me in the ground.

Peace n love,
Pat

Christmas and New Year

Back at work today for the first time in a couple of weeks. Had a rather lovely Christmas off, and am revitalised and refreshed and looking forward to kicking arse in 2007.
The multitalented genius known as Cy Henty has been producing some artwork for Hellbride's new opening sequence, which I should get to see later this week. He's got a great eye for such stuff, and you can see some of his work over at http://www.cyhenty.co.uk/gallery.htm
Speaking of Hellbride, there was also a nice little bit of coverage about it in this month's SFX magazine, (the one with Dr Who on the front, we're on page 27), which was a nice little early Christmas present. While I push the edit towards fine cut, Phil Sheldon (who scored KillerKiller)is also hard at work on the score. It's all coming together very nicely indeed.
Merry Christmas/Happy New Year and all that. Now it's back to work...

Video diary

New Hellbride video diary clip at;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsMnM7mMngY

Second Assembly

After my somewhat vague entry last week about finding solutions for Hellbride's structural problems, I called a member of cast back at the end of last week for some dialogue looping, which has done the job fantastically. Sometimes simple solutions are all that's required; I must admit I'd been panicking that we might need another reshoot. Funny old business.

Still being trying to sort out certain leads on distribution for KK, but it's getting increasingly futile as everything winds down for Christmas, and come Wednesday I'm chucking in the towel for the rest of the year and taking a couple of weeks off.

Hellbride is looking pretty damn good in Second Assembly actually. I'm getting this cut over to our composer over the next couple of days, so that he can start putting together some score for it. Funny how music brings things to life so much. I can't imagine KK without the score and the soundscapes.

Solving problems

Still trying to suss out exactly how my brain works.

Either way, the Hellbride issues are now considered sorted. The solution came to me fully formed yesterday, and I've been babbling about it ever since.

We might even hit our deadline.

Woo, and hoo.

And another...

http://www.horrortalk.com/reviews/KK/KK.html

Been spending my time sorting out various enquiries from sales agents and distribution companies. Hit a bit of a bummer earlier in the week with the news that my 'ideal option' isn't dealing in horror any more. This is not only a pity from a KK angle, but also as a customer; they did some of the best horror releases out there. Won't name the company as they don't seem to have made the change of direction public yet.

Watched the current assembly of Hellbride straight through again this morning, and it needs... Goddammit, I'm not entirely sure what it needs. It's got a whole bunch of brilliant stuff but doesn't quite seem to be heading the way I want it to as a whole. I've been very eager for it to be done and dusted by January so that it stands a chance of getting premiered at a certain festival, but I think hand-on-heart that we're probably going to miss that date because I want to get the sucker perfect. I'm still scratching my head about it, to be honest...

Another good KK review

Can be found over here...

http://www.mjsimpson.co.uk/reviews/killerkiller.html

Good to know that folks are enjoying the flick!